Follow Your Head, Not Your Heart

The famous saying, “Follow your heart”, can sometimes be the worst. Women tell each other this crock of shit line all the time. Now, before you think I’m a heartless bitch, let me explain why, I’ve stopped following my heart.

The older I get and now being happily married, I’ve thought about past relationships, why they didn’t work, why I put up with things I normally wouldn’t have. The reason is, I was following my heart. Most of us women are hopeless romantics, some show it more than others, but it’s natural for us women to want romance, it’s how we’re built. I think most of my failed relationships have been from following my heart. Had I listened to my brain instead, I probably wouldn’t have wasted so much time in some of the relationships I had been in.

When we follow our hearts, we over look things, put up with stuff, and sometimes even loose ourselves. The biggest thing with following your heart is it can put you in an unhealthy relationship. Even though your head tells you otherwise, you ignore it because of what the heart yearns for. In my opinion, if your heart and head are saying the same thing and you’re in a healthy, happy relationship, congrats to you, that’s so hard to find. Most women ignore what their head says, follow their hearts, and never really get that happiness they want or deserve.

My last relationship prior to my husband was very rocky, yes, because I followed my heart. After that ended and I was dating, I stopped following my heart and paid close attention to what my head would tell me. I have to admit, it saved me from wasting time on those that didn’t have me in their best interest, ending up with a life that I didn’t want, getting hurt, and most of  all, being in an unhealthy relationship. This is something many people forget to do in the beginning stages of a relationship. It’s so easy to follow your heart and ignore signs or red flags that are screaming “no, not this one” at you. This is why women settle, waste years on someone they’re hoping will change and treat them better, and end up losing themselves entirely.

When my husband came along, my heart was screaming for me to listen to it. It took all my strength to listen to my head first and I did. Even though I was head over heels in love, I had to think about what my value to him was, how he treated me, was I his priority, was he selfish, was I his queen, his equal, did he love me like I loved him…these are the kinds of things I thought about. I was not going to waste years with someone, again, being unhappy, I knew better this time around, and I know what I deserve.

I have now been married two years. Being a military wife, not living together immediately, and deployments made things tough, I’ll admit. But following my head and not my heart has put be in a happy marriage and I am treated the way I wanna be and deserve to be.

About April M. Monterrosa 

 April M. Monterrosa is Proud Latina from San Antonio, Texas, a Marine Corps wife, Mama of a Dachshund, licensed Cosmetologist & Owner of The Lil Spa Room, Founder of the Wonderfully Wise Women Group, Blog, & Online Magazine, a Writer for SAXtreme Magazine, PCA Skin Chemical Peel certified, & a Nuskin Skin Care Distributor.